Free the Thread

I promised that I would expose the wild world of knitting and so here is the results of many hours of investigative journalism.

There is nothing wrong with the world of knitting. Also there is not a world of knitting.

A look into the Male game

So my whole life I have had to play these games with other males. They always consist of trying to hit the other in the crotch. When I used to play Ultimate Frisbee a lot we would play this game where we would chuck the disc at the others dicks. It was fun until someone got a lucky hit right on your nuts.

Yesterday I was laying down on the ground and several of my friends started trying to land a lacrosse ball on my dick. Well, I just laid there because I figured they would stop before they actually landed one. Well, I was wrong, they continued until there was a direct hit. It hurt. It hurt a lot. They all thought it was hilarious. I didn’t find it so funny but they told me it was my fault because I didn’t move when they started to chuck balls at my balls. I then had to pretend that it was funny and I must then get them back with chucking stuff at their balls.

So what is the equivalent for chicks? Slapping each others boobs? Sleeping with each others boyfriends? Throwing stuff at dudes balls? That brings up a great question. Do girls ever participate in the practice of ball bustin’?

I think this practice should be eliminated. No more chucking stuff at dude’s dudes.

Back Again

I really am not funny or interesting but seeing as I had a blog written about the fact that I don’t blog anymore and asking me to blog, I better start my blogging life again. I have a couple of questions though about the whole blogging lifestyle. Why is it that people like to have their thoughts read by strangers? Why is postsecret popular? Why do I want some crazy Canadian who I don’t even know reading my every thoughts and why should they care what I think about. I am not so sure that I like the way our culture is going. Sorry to ruin my first blog back with boring stuff but this is what I was thinking and I hear that people like to read others stupid words. I hope you enjoy mine.

2 hours of Silence

So I went on this sweet trip with the rapist and a few of his friends on Saturday, and I realized that there are a few things in life that i treasure. One is my butt virginity. Luckily, I made sure I was always around a horse so that if I was about to be raped, then I could suggest that we all rape the horse instead. I think it worked, as my ass-hymen remains intact. Another thing that I treasure is silence. Mostly when I am riding in a car with a bunch of people that I dont want to talk to, or hear talk to each other. At first they tried to make small talk, but I was able to hold them off, with grunts and general incompetence as a conversationalist. It worked because for the most part no one spoke, I didnt even turn the radio on. It was the sweet sound of silence.

The last thing I realized was that I treasure the fact that I dont have stupid nickname. I started calling the rapists man-cub, because he always wears this really ugly cubs hat and i didnt know his name, so when he disappeared for about half-hour and i needed to leave, I asked where the man-cub was. I think he was raping one of the horses in the stable. I am determined not to hang out with anyone who could possibly give me a name that sucks.

I once was a horse

Well, maybe not a real horse but a horses ass for sure. I have this really creepy guy in my history class who seems to always be looking through girls clothes. I am a little freaked out by him because what if he has x-ray vision. Anyway, for extra credit we can go visit a historical site about 2 hours away so I asked the class if anyone wanted to go with me; guess who said he wants to come - The Creepy Guy. I am afraid that while I walk around the horse stables he will strap me down and eat my heart while it is still bleeding and then do the same to the female tour guide.
That was a week ago. Yesterday in class we were discussing a book about a Native American and what we thought about it. I wasn't really paying attention, but then all of a sudden I hear ginormous words being used, and some actually in the correct fashion. I looked up to see that Creepy Guy was spouting off in some severe academic prose, I chuckled out loud. He gave me a dirty look. Now I am certain that I will be found in the middle of a horse stable with my ass torn to pieces and my great hair messed up. He will probably let me live so I have to relive the pain over and over again.
I guess I can look at it two ways, I may have saved my life, but I will guaranteed have my ass-hyman popped this weekend.

Yes, No or Maybe

So this girl I know got a note that asked if she like the guy who sent it. She is in college and couldn't believe that he had boxes at the bottom that said "check one, and options: Yes - No - Maybe." She thought it was stupid, I think that it is funny.

Hi, my name is Hector

I like my name